Mental Exercise

As I was trying to fall asleep the other night, I gave myself a mental exercise.. sort of like a challenge. Although I feel like the Holy Spirit gave me this idea to show me a point.

The challenge was to sum up how I felt about myself after each relationship I've had in only one word.. and this is what I came up with:

'06 - Ashamed

'07 - Inadequate

'08-'10 - Used

'11 - Worthless

It really put things into perspective for me... set aside all the good that existed within those relationships, the outcomes within myself took years to recover from in terms of my self image and who I really was. When I believed those things about myself, I acted a certain way.. they shaped much of my decision making. That's why it's so important to not let anyone make you lose sight of who you are and Whose you are.

The cycle has been broken and one day I'm ready to feel treasured, cherished, loved, empowered, and respected by my future husband. Until then, and of course after, He is my first love and waits for me..

removing my shame by lifting up my head

replacing my inadequacy with anointing power

lavishing me with love until I'm overflowing

and removing all doubt of my self worth

I am my Beloved's and my Beloved is mine..