Without revealing too much (because this isn't my journal after all), but wanting to be real with everyone, I've decided to go back to counselling. I had 6 months of counselling that ended over a year ago. In the past 6 months or so, God has gently brought some things to the surface in my life that need to be healed/faced/etc. It took me many months after recognizing the need to actually make the call. These few things seemed somewhat small about a year ago, but in their hiding they grew into giants. They dominate my daily thoughts and have become poison. Confession of our struggles and past is the first step to healing and breakthrough. People who get counselling/therapy should not be looked at as "crazy". Just like we go to the gym or exercise regularly (or we should haha) to keep our bodies healthy, we also need to regularly make sure our minds/emotions are healthy and in alignment with His Word.
My reasoning is two-fold. Yes, there are things in my own life that I need to face and deal with, but being in a relationship changes everything. What affects me directly affects Marc. Having a ring on my finger won't all of a sudden fix my problems.. In fact, it can magnify them and make them louder. So I've decided, not just for me but for us, to take this season to deal with these things so I don't bring them into our marriage. Of course, I know that we will always have things to work on all of our lives, buy why not take care of issues now? Only good can come from it. There's nothing stopping me but myself.. I'll admit, I'm terrified.. It's always so draining and emotional and gut wrenching.. But finally my desire to be free has outweighed my fear.
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