I tend to push myself to the breaking point and forget to take care of myself..
but having this surgery and not feeling myself for 2 weeks really threw me.
The surgery was successful. They found what they had suspected and removed everything so praise God for that! I'm still a little sore, but not in near as much pain as I was before so that's good. As I was feeling a little better, I tried to do too much too fast and ended up taking 5 steps backwards.. I was forced to take it easy and rest, which was not fun for me. If I'm not being productive I get anxious real easily.. but it's ok to rest and take care of yourself and do absolutely nothing once in a while.
Between 3 jobs, a new relationship, moving out into an apartment, and then not feeling well physically/having surgery, I burned out last weekend. I literally crashed and burned and thought I was going to lose it. So I've had to reprioritize some things and make adjustments so that I'm not completely useless to everyone. One day, I'll have one full time ministry position. But until then, I'm trying to be faithful in this season. It's definitely a wilderness, but that's where character is built, right?
I'm realizing more and more who I am and stepping into what God has called me to. It's kind of scary, but if what He's called me to wasn't bigger than myself, the glory wouldn't go to God when overcome. So any "success" I have, make no mistake, is due to His faithfulness and goodness. He has proven himself strong not in spite of my weaknesses but THROUGH them. Amazing things are happening at church. Walls are coming down and people are really seeking after the Lord and getting healing. I'm becoming more bold and stepping out of my comfort zone. I'm continuing to write more songs and become inspired. I have so much to be thankful for.. The amazing man of God that blesses me every single day, my family, provision, health, and the list goes on. It's all about perspective and not letting others rob you of your peace and joy.
It's interesting how my attitude and perspective is directly proportionate to my intimacy with Christ. I can feel a tangible difference throughout my day if I don't pray. It's like I'm totally controlled by my emotions and I'm weak and running on fumes. But when I've prayed, I feel carried and like I'm soaring above my circumstances. I'm not easily shaken and I can hear His voice clearer. I'm by no means where I want to be in my prayer life, but I'm getting there.
Between 3 jobs, a new relationship, moving out into an apartment, and then not feeling well physically/having surgery, I burned out last weekend. I literally crashed and burned and thought I was going to lose it. So I've had to reprioritize some things and make adjustments so that I'm not completely useless to everyone. One day, I'll have one full time ministry position. But until then, I'm trying to be faithful in this season. It's definitely a wilderness, but that's where character is built, right?
I'm realizing more and more who I am and stepping into what God has called me to. It's kind of scary, but if what He's called me to wasn't bigger than myself, the glory wouldn't go to God when overcome. So any "success" I have, make no mistake, is due to His faithfulness and goodness. He has proven himself strong not in spite of my weaknesses but THROUGH them. Amazing things are happening at church. Walls are coming down and people are really seeking after the Lord and getting healing. I'm becoming more bold and stepping out of my comfort zone. I'm continuing to write more songs and become inspired. I have so much to be thankful for.. The amazing man of God that blesses me every single day, my family, provision, health, and the list goes on. It's all about perspective and not letting others rob you of your peace and joy.
It's interesting how my attitude and perspective is directly proportionate to my intimacy with Christ. I can feel a tangible difference throughout my day if I don't pray. It's like I'm totally controlled by my emotions and I'm weak and running on fumes. But when I've prayed, I feel carried and like I'm soaring above my circumstances. I'm not easily shaken and I can hear His voice clearer. I'm by no means where I want to be in my prayer life, but I'm getting there.
Marc and I celebrated 3 months together yesterday on St. Patrick's day. It was a huge victory for me because I broke up with my ex last St. Patrick's day.. it was awful and I was at an all time low. I felt worthless and used. I spiraled out of control and was in destructive patterns. But then God delivered me, held onto me even when I didn't have the strength to hold on, and after 6 months of counseling and surrounding myself with uplifting/good influences, I started to emerge from a very long dark night/wilderness. And now it's come full circle all in one year. God is replacing every tear of sorrow with tears of joy. He has healed me and lifted up my head. And he's given me 10 fold what the enemy has stolen. God is good!
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