1) I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
2) Nothing sucks more than the moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
3) I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
4) There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
5) How on earth are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet???
6) Was learning cursive really necessary?
7) Mapquest really needs to start there directions at #5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my own neighborhood.
8) Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
9) I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kinda tired
10) Bad decisions make good stories.
11) You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't gonig to do anything productive for the rest of the day
12) Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after blue ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection... again.
13) I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
14) "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.
15) I hate it when I just miss a call by the last ring "Hello? Hello? Danget..." but when I immediately call back it rings 9 times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
16) I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
17) I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call
18) I think a freezer deserves a light as well.
19) I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" route option.
20) Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no clue what the heck was going on when I first saw it.
21) I would rather try and carry 10 - overloaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
22) The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
23) I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
24) How many times is it appropriate to say "what?" before you just nod and smile cause you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
25) I love the sense of camaradarie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!!
26) Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
27) There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you're going to die after leaning your chair back a little bit too far *cough michael cough*
28) As a driver, I hate pedestrians. As a pedestrian, I hate drivers. But no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate biciclists.
29) Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
30) Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and pinning the tail on the donkey, but I'd bet my life everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, with their eyes closed, first time, every time!!
