moving!!!

it's been hard for me to post anything lately because I'm so ... in process. So many things have been happening, good and bad. Gaining new friends, rekindling old ones. As well as losing some... Shallow threats offset by beautiful promises.

I was recently told by someone who I'm realizing doesn't really know me anymore that I am a "drama queen", that drama doesn't just find me but I find it. I would never wish any of this onto me... ever. I would never wish drama onto my friends or myself. But life happens. No matter how apathetic or how much one can try to distance themselves from life and it's worries, as long as you are around people "drama" will find you. Maybe it's because I care so much about my friends. I invest so much of myself into my relationships. But also I trust too easily...

In these past 2 weeks it's as if I've been experiencing and saying goodbye to old things... Hanging out with friends and having a good time... but now I'm finally stepping into what I've been preparing for all this time. Every class, every trial, every circumstance, every confrontation, every lesson, every tear, every thing has led me to this point of full time ministry. And I gladly welcome it.

Apart from temporary things like drama, God has been doing amazing things in my life. Not only did I just graduate but accepted a full time position at Lakeport Christian Center as youth pastor and worship minister. I'm so blessed and excited to start my new life in a place "nobody knows my name": aka in a place where my parents nor my brother have gone before me. I can finally be known as MARIA and not Dick and Carla's daughter or Nathaniel's sister.. Right in time I got a car, honda civic, and literally a few days before my move a beautiful place opened up to me, free of rent except for utilities.

God is so good! not just for his blessings but for who He is. I choose to praise him in my darkest nights and my brightest mornings. In both he is still faithful. I look forward to a time of true healing and restoration. I look forward to dreams being realized and chains being broken. I welcome whatever will be thrown my way because God has allowed me to experience and endure so much already, I know it was for a reason.

Well that's my update for now to whoever reads my blog. :)

change

So I've graduated :) I was surrounded by so many friends and family it was overwhelming. Overwhelming joy and overwhelming sadness. The change I had longed for was finally upon me, whether I was ready of not. Time for good byes to how things were. Time for a new season. I am living in sacramento for the month of may then moving to Lakeport because I have officially accepted a full time job as a youth pastor and worship leader. I am scared and excited all in one. I know that God has prepared me though and that this is the next chapter in my life. I'll have the chance to be independent, to spread my wings, and to focus on the task at hand.

I'm still dealing with something very painful and personal. But I know that I was allowed to endure this for a reason. And no tear shed is in vain or unseen...