I've realized a theme that has been taught to me and that has become more and more real throughout my life. Sometimes it came in the form of trying to understand physical healing.. Sometimes it came in the form of letting go of a romantic interest because my heart knew deep down they weren't "the one".. And lately, it has come in the form of financial stability.. letting go of control and trusting God.
I don't understand the "why" when something/someone is taken from me. Often, there isn't a "why". But God uses it for our good.. The principle is to worship Him even though I don't understand His ways. I worshiped Him when I didn't understand why my knee wasn't healed in the way I had hoped. I worshiped Him when my heart was broken. And now I'm choosing to worship Him even when I don't see how I'm going to get day to day. I know He will provide for me. He has proven Himself over and over to me.. not that He needs to prove Himself to anyone. But He wants to show Himself as faithful to us, and He undoubtedly has. He has provided for me countless times even without my knowledge. He wouldn't lead me to a place just to leave me there.
Something has been "taken" from me yet again. But it wasn't mine to begin with. It's His. And if He decides to return it to me, so be it. If He doesn't, then I know He has something better in store. Either way, I'm choosing to worship Him no matter my circumstances. I choose joy. I choose peace. Satan will not rob me of what I know to be true... that life is beautiful.. even when it brings pain. I like to think of it in the analogy of incense. It has to first be crushed completely before the aroma can come out. The most beautiful blossoms come after the most fierce storm. All I know is, there is a new season right around the corner. So I welcome the pain if it means being closer to Him and becoming more like Him.
Thursday, March 21, 2013
New Home, New Season
After almost a week of unpacking, I'm finally not living out of boxes anymore!
And it's so nice having a little buddy around when I'm alone! :)
Wednesday, March 6, 2013
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Miracle!
So exactly 2 weeks ago, as Marc was driving to school, he was T-boned at an intersection by a girl who ran a red light going 50mph. He survived and was relatively unscathed, but he has severe whiplash and back problems.
Two nights later, my car was stolen out of my parents' driveway. Mind you, this past Saturday I was supposed to move to Elk Grove. One cannot move without a car...
In a nut shell, the police found my car the morning after it was stolen upside down in an embankment submerged in water. Witnesses saw two teenagers in my car involved in a hit and run, and then more witnesses saw them again racing behind Mather. They took a turn too fast, rolled the car into the embankment, and fled the scene... leaving behind whiskey bottles and some of their belongings, but nothing to identify them with unfortunately... Here's the clincher. I didn't have theft on my insurance, so they didn't pay a dime. In fact, I was stuck with the $400 towing bill.
I honestly didn't understand. I had every confirmation that this house/roommate/situation was hand picked for me by God. I tried to find a spiritual reason as to why it would happen. I had people coming at me on all sides trying to tell me what it meant: "Well this obviously means that place wasn't right for you and God was sparing you from a bad situation." "This is an attack from Satan to keep you from moving out." etc. But deep down, none of those sat right with my spirit. So I had " real talk " with God. I asked him why he allowed this even after he confirmed to me that it was picked out for me (explained in previous blog). All I got in return was peace and the reminder to trust Him...
I finally came to the conclusion that sometimes, bad things just happen for no reason! People give Satan more credit than he deserves. Not every bad thing that happens is a demon or Satan. And it goes both ways. God didn't will my car to get stolen. He foresaw it, yes. He allowed it, yes. But he didn't will it to "teach me a lesson." I know that every situation is different. I've seen doors closed in my own life that should have been open, and it actually was God in hindsight. The point I'm making is that's not the case in every situation! Some people try to make sense of what happens to them and those around them that fits with their theology box of who God is and how he operates.
All I know is this: Two teenagers, in their own free will, chose to steal my car. They weren't compelled by Satan. It just happened. But God allowed it because he saw an opportunity to teach me to trust him and rely on him more and to be a testimony to others of his provision.
I had to "die" to what I wanted, so to speak. I told the renter to rip up my deposit and told my roommate that I wasn't going to be able to move in after all. I was devastated and in a dark place for a few days. It was so hard to surrender and give up what I wanted so badly. I was so excited to move out and start a new season. I needed a change...
Then 2 days before rent would have been due and the new lease would have started over for my roommate, she called me to hear what happened to my car. Then she told me that she was having to trust God because she would have to move out if she couldn't find a roommate in 2 days. So in essence, if I didn't move in, she had to move out. I felt horrible... So we prayed together and trusted God for a miracle.
Well Marc ended up getting thousands more from his insurance than he anticipated, more than enough to buy himself a new car (which was totaled). So two hours after I got off the phone with my roommate, he offered to give me $2500 towards a car! I immediately called her and we were both squealing on the phone! Then my church took up an offering for me and that added $1800. I'm am so beyond blessed and blown away at God's provision. He came through literally in the 11th hour. Then I saw that he used this situation for the good. I had to let it go before he gave it back to me, kind of like Isaac and Abraham.. only less intense haha.
So I signed the lease and I've been packing all my things and searching for a car :) I have a handful of leads that I'm checking out this weekend.
Here are the pics of my poor car.. bye bye birdie
Two nights later, my car was stolen out of my parents' driveway. Mind you, this past Saturday I was supposed to move to Elk Grove. One cannot move without a car...
In a nut shell, the police found my car the morning after it was stolen upside down in an embankment submerged in water. Witnesses saw two teenagers in my car involved in a hit and run, and then more witnesses saw them again racing behind Mather. They took a turn too fast, rolled the car into the embankment, and fled the scene... leaving behind whiskey bottles and some of their belongings, but nothing to identify them with unfortunately... Here's the clincher. I didn't have theft on my insurance, so they didn't pay a dime. In fact, I was stuck with the $400 towing bill.
I honestly didn't understand. I had every confirmation that this house/roommate/situation was hand picked for me by God. I tried to find a spiritual reason as to why it would happen. I had people coming at me on all sides trying to tell me what it meant: "Well this obviously means that place wasn't right for you and God was sparing you from a bad situation." "This is an attack from Satan to keep you from moving out." etc. But deep down, none of those sat right with my spirit. So I had " real talk " with God. I asked him why he allowed this even after he confirmed to me that it was picked out for me (explained in previous blog). All I got in return was peace and the reminder to trust Him...
I finally came to the conclusion that sometimes, bad things just happen for no reason! People give Satan more credit than he deserves. Not every bad thing that happens is a demon or Satan. And it goes both ways. God didn't will my car to get stolen. He foresaw it, yes. He allowed it, yes. But he didn't will it to "teach me a lesson." I know that every situation is different. I've seen doors closed in my own life that should have been open, and it actually was God in hindsight. The point I'm making is that's not the case in every situation! Some people try to make sense of what happens to them and those around them that fits with their theology box of who God is and how he operates.
All I know is this: Two teenagers, in their own free will, chose to steal my car. They weren't compelled by Satan. It just happened. But God allowed it because he saw an opportunity to teach me to trust him and rely on him more and to be a testimony to others of his provision.
I had to "die" to what I wanted, so to speak. I told the renter to rip up my deposit and told my roommate that I wasn't going to be able to move in after all. I was devastated and in a dark place for a few days. It was so hard to surrender and give up what I wanted so badly. I was so excited to move out and start a new season. I needed a change...
Then 2 days before rent would have been due and the new lease would have started over for my roommate, she called me to hear what happened to my car. Then she told me that she was having to trust God because she would have to move out if she couldn't find a roommate in 2 days. So in essence, if I didn't move in, she had to move out. I felt horrible... So we prayed together and trusted God for a miracle.
Well Marc ended up getting thousands more from his insurance than he anticipated, more than enough to buy himself a new car (which was totaled). So two hours after I got off the phone with my roommate, he offered to give me $2500 towards a car! I immediately called her and we were both squealing on the phone! Then my church took up an offering for me and that added $1800. I'm am so beyond blessed and blown away at God's provision. He came through literally in the 11th hour. Then I saw that he used this situation for the good. I had to let it go before he gave it back to me, kind of like Isaac and Abraham.. only less intense haha.
So I signed the lease and I've been packing all my things and searching for a car :) I have a handful of leads that I'm checking out this weekend.
Here are the pics of my poor car.. bye bye birdie
Thursday, February 21, 2013
It's that Time Again!
So I know when I moved to Natomas over a year ago I said that was the last time I was going to move before getting married, but that obviously didn't end up being true (already explained how that fell through). But this time I mean it! I've lived with my parents for about 6 months, and I have been ready to move out for a while now. So I've been praying for God to provide me with a godly roommate in a safe neighborhood, and He did!
I put my feelers out to some friends, including Kelly (Marc's cousin - who set us up). Turns out less than 2 weeks prior to that, her friend (my future roommate) reached out to her needing a roommate. So Kelly called her and asked her if she was still looking for a roommate, and she happened to call her right as she was praying for a roommate! I know that was confusing, but it was such a trip when I heard that. Christy is a children's minister at an AG church and so bubbly and sweet. Marc and I went and met her, and the house is beautiful. It's 3 bedroom, 1 story, with a gorgeous backyard (still looking for a 3rd roommate). There's wood floors, space for storage in the garage, etc. It's everything I've prayed for and it's even closer to Marc! The house is in Elk Grove, on a road that turns into the same road where I work. Even though I will be farther from my church (now making my drive about an hour and a half), I know this is the right choice for me. And my pastor has worked with me so that I am no only required to be there once a week.
My move in date is March 2nd, and I'm so excited. OH! and another crazy fact is that the owners/renters of the house are Marc's cousins! Ted (the husband) is Kelly's brother, who happens to be close friends with my pastor. I think the world is shrinking haha
Anyway, I have to pack my life up once again under 2 weeks so I'm a tad stressed out, but so ready for this change and new season. I'm trusting God to provide for me, and I have a peace about this place. Where I last lived, my roommates took advantage of me and it was like living in a nightmare. So I've been much more cautious this time around with who I chose as a roommate. It's as if God picked her out! I'm so blessed :)
I put my feelers out to some friends, including Kelly (Marc's cousin - who set us up). Turns out less than 2 weeks prior to that, her friend (my future roommate) reached out to her needing a roommate. So Kelly called her and asked her if she was still looking for a roommate, and she happened to call her right as she was praying for a roommate! I know that was confusing, but it was such a trip when I heard that. Christy is a children's minister at an AG church and so bubbly and sweet. Marc and I went and met her, and the house is beautiful. It's 3 bedroom, 1 story, with a gorgeous backyard (still looking for a 3rd roommate). There's wood floors, space for storage in the garage, etc. It's everything I've prayed for and it's even closer to Marc! The house is in Elk Grove, on a road that turns into the same road where I work. Even though I will be farther from my church (now making my drive about an hour and a half), I know this is the right choice for me. And my pastor has worked with me so that I am no only required to be there once a week.
My move in date is March 2nd, and I'm so excited. OH! and another crazy fact is that the owners/renters of the house are Marc's cousins! Ted (the husband) is Kelly's brother, who happens to be close friends with my pastor. I think the world is shrinking haha
Anyway, I have to pack my life up once again under 2 weeks so I'm a tad stressed out, but so ready for this change and new season. I'm trusting God to provide for me, and I have a peace about this place. Where I last lived, my roommates took advantage of me and it was like living in a nightmare. So I've been much more cautious this time around with who I chose as a roommate. It's as if God picked her out! I'm so blessed :)
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