"God, have mercy on me"

Those are the words I whispered when I woke up at 4am this past Sunday morning in excruciating pain as two kidney stones started to move. I was devastated because not only did this mean I would miss leading worship that morning, but I would miss leading worship at the Teen Challenge Graduation that night with my worship team.. I felt like I was letting everyone down, even though it was out of my control.

I waited in the dark as the pain worsened and finally woke up my parents. They took me to the ER, and there was at least 5 people in front of me, and all the beds were full. For the time being, the stones had stopped moving, so the pain was bearable. After a couple of hours, we watched in disbelief as 3 people in front of me left (2 from mere impatience) within minutes of each other. So I was taken into my room just as the stones started to move again. I was completely beside myself with pain; it was almost maddening.

Our nurse was Italian and so hilarious. He had all of us laughing and was so sweet. They gave me 3 hits of a drug that's 7 times stronger than morphine.. crazy. No wonder I had a 2 day migraine as it left my system! The CT scan showed two stones on the move and more that were forming in both kidneys. So I was referred to a urologist to see why my body is producing so many. I passed one not 3 years ago, so this is very uncommon. It might be hereditary because of my dad, but I'm curious to see what is causing them and what I can do to prevent them.

So I've been home drugged up 4 days later waiting for these things to pass, missing work (which I can't afford, but God will provide). And to top it off, Marc broke his foot in two places last Friday night so he's laid up in bed in pain also. We both make a pathetic pair this week lol..

Prayers are appreciated for the both of us!

Closure

This past week I had off for vacation, and Marc and I took our first road trip together :) We went to Santa Cruz for the day, and I hadn't been back since I graduated from Bethany two years ago. I think it was just too painful for me since my last boyfriend had moved to Santa Cruz for a year to be with me, so everywhere there were memories ( mainly bad ones). Apart from those bad memories, I loved the town and the ocean. I wanted to make new memories and get freedom from the prison of those memories that held me back. What better way then to bring the real love of my life to Santa Cruz and make new memories?
At the end of the day, we drove through my old campus, Bethany University (which is now closed). It was so surreal. I saw 4 years of my life play out before me - good and bad memories - and said goodbye. It was a beautiful day..