Some things

are too personal for a blog.. some things ARE sacred.. but I will say God is truly bringing me into a new season and He is blessing me left and right.. Not because of anything I've done to earn it, but simply because He loves me and he saw it fit to do so in His timing.

Even though I'm sick as a dog, I'm going to bed with a smile :)

He is acquainted with our suffering

of H. Taylor "And He knew loneliness, the solitude of a life that had no sympathy as regards its deepest needs, its highest aspirations. Not one tear you shed, not one pang you feel is unknown to Him. It is all, every ache of it, 'fellowship with His sufferings."

Does that not transfigure the darkest moment, rob the bitterest humiliation of its sting?..

yay for antibiotics

This Sunday's worship went so well! God's presence was very present and the church is so welcoming and friendly. The antibiotics for my bronchitis have kicked its bum and I'm about 90% better. I lead worship again next week and am so excited :)

aaaannnnddd enjoy:

Advent Conspiracy

This video convicted me and really made me think..

Don't forget what Christmas is all about!

Happy Birthday!

Happy birthday, Devin!

and Melissa!

Welcome to the exciting world of 23 you guys! ;)

This is all I have to say

Ok so I'm sitting here trying to keep my eyes open as the codeine is hitting me in the face. After being sick as a dog for 3 weeks, I decided not to be stubborn this year and dragged myself to urgent care. After hearing my symptoms and listening to my chest the doctor said I have bronchitis. awesome. BUT, what's great is he gave me an antibiotic for pneumonia that'll stop this thing real quick so that's good..

I really hope I'm feeling better by Thursday night's worship practice for the next two Sundays. I'm guest worship leading at a church (that won't be mentioned yet - as to not get ahead of myself) and it will possibly be where I will be the worship pastor. I'm nervous, but yet I have a calm and a peace.. I know He's gone before me. It's crazy to see him orchestrate all the details, down to the very last one. So I know His hand is in this and I don't have to worry about letting stupid sickness stop me, cause that just means someone doesn't want me there. I can't wait to give more details once everything is set in stone, but I'm getting very excited and anticipating great things to come. This is truly a new season.

So bronchitis?! I've overcome way worse than you, and nothin's stoppin me :)
This is all I have to say to you (only redditors or 9gagers will understand)

I think 9gag is ruining my life

Christina Perri - A Thousand Years

Even apart from the Twilight context, this song is beautiful..

recent sshhnnanagans

My future son

NOT my future son

The Virgin Diaries

Although this first kiss is pretty hilarious, this new show on TLC is making virgins and people who won't kiss before they're married out to be freaks of nature.. when in reality their commitment is so beautiful and profound. I don't know if I could not kiss before the wedding; that's pretty tough lol... but I am saving myself for my future husband, as "freakish" and weird as that might sound. Why is it SO unheard of to wait and be patient? Why is it ridiculous to save yourself? If you are one that makes fun of people who wait, maybe evaluate why is it that you find the need to do so. They're not harming anyone, so why put them down? It's not like they're conviction is somehow a judgment of yours. Ok done with my rant.. LET'S ALL GET ALONG! lol

http://ellen.warnerbros.com/2011/11/ellens_thoughts_on_the_virgin_diaries_1130.php

Scary Cleverbot

Of Cries and Goodbyes

1 shirt left in a glove box for 8 months

2 songs that bled out of me..

I had been ready to let go for so long but just kept putting it off..
When finally something very traumatic happened, yet I was suddenly filled with a new courage and strength and just started driving towards Cameron Park.

I had no clue where I was going.. The pathetic zip lock bag that represented "our relationship" was at my side and I was growing more and more frustrated by the minute as I aimlessly drove through the hills of that stupid town looking for a specific park. I had no clue what it was called or where it was. All I knew was it had geese, a lake, and a dirt path that led to picnic tables.. We had such a beautifully sad walk there right before it ended and I knew that's where I had to let go.

It was drizzling and I started to cry trying to see through the windshield. I cried outloud to God "you're going to have to show me where this place is because I'm not coming back! I need this closure today; please help me." And within minutes I saw the lake through the trees to my right and drove straight into the park. I sat in the parking lot in shock at how quickly God led me there. He only knew how much I needed this..

I took my time walking down the path with my little zip lock bag.. The cold was biting through my clothes and my nose was bright red. But I didn't care.. my jaw was set and I had been preparing for this for a long time. I finally chose a spot to leave it and when I walked away I left it all behind.

My past is my past.. It does not define me but it did help me become stronger. No more being haunted by the "what ifs" and video clips that play in my head. I'm ready for a new season, full of joy and harvest instead of a wasteland of sorrow and regret.

"I'm always dragging that horse around.
And our love is pastured such a mournful sound.

Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground...."

"....but it's always darkest before the dawn."

Shake it Out - Florence + the Machine

And there it was left, to be picked up by some random stranger, washed away by the rain, or thrown in the trash. Either way it's gone, never to be my burden again.